A Genuine Argument with an Imaginary Upsell

intellichat.png

This article would probably be titled the quickest way to tell that you are a hell of a lot dumber than you think you are.  ( I’m raising my hand right now if you can’t tell)

I guess I’ve got a little bit more free time than I realized, AND a bit deeper of a persistent confronational streak that I like to acknowledge.

Anyway – the point of this is I had a nasty, and frustrating exchange today when I was purchasing a new keyword tool to test. 

I tried to leave the page to reconsider whether I really needed it ( I had been using a 7 day free trial and really loved the speed and the underlying interface) – and of course, got hit with the live chat that was offering a once in a lifetime 50% off deal on an already pretty expensive product, and I guess I just thought it was just too good to pass up.

But – being a pretty smart shopper, I already knew the bonuses on the page were pretty attractive, and I simply wanted to make sure I was getting those on top of the 50% discount as well.

"I Have Been Guilty of Kicking Myself in the Teeth, I will Speak No More of My Feelings Beneath"

So I clicked "Chat".

What happened next is when things really started to go down the shitter – which is not unusual for my IM sessions with customer service types, because I like to lead things off with – "what are you wearing?" – mostly because I’m already used to that from a decade of 900 number calls and intrinsicly realize that time is money on these things.

Anyway – I wrote somethign to the effect of – "hi kathy – what are the bonuses associated with this item?’

To which she responded – " A, B and C"

To which I responded – "is there a difference in the premium vs the basic version other than the terms of payment?" (one was monthly – the other was for the year upfront)

To which she responded – " Why not give it a try today, click here!"

To which she then followed up with – "there are only 7 left at this price"

To which I responded – " oh, really? Are you sure about that?"

To which she responded – "if there’s nothing else I can help you with, click here and buy it before the bonus goes away!"

To which I responded – " There IS something you can help me with – WHAT is the difference between the premium and basic versions??" (notice the heavy cap use on my side of the conversation)

To which she responded – " there are only 7 left at this price"

To which I responded – "what about my question do you NOT understand?"

To which she responded – "if there is nothing else I can help you with, I’m going to go now"

To which I shook my head, and clicked on the little link at the bottom of the chat screen to take this simple question up with her superior.

 I will NOT be treated like a dummy by some girl with bright blue eyes and a beautiful online avatar. 

I’m important, and deserve to be treated that way.

To which I landed on a page selling intellichat’s automotatic page abandonement software system, where robotic scripts intuit your answers and try to appeal to your sense of value by offering you a deal too good to pass up. 

The shame swam over me in waves.

I just had a completely imaginary conversation. 

With myself. 

And twisted my panties up in the process. 

And I’m supposed to be giving other people advice.  If you are reading this blog for smart commentary, you have been given fair warning. 

There might be 2 people out of 100 who are that dumb, and unfortunately I’m not sure the other one is allowed internet access. 

I quietly paid for the product and slinked away, hoping that the bits and bytes weren’t getting a hearty laugh at my expense as I left.


One Week Marketing: A Real Way To Make More Money Online (From Someone Who Has Been Where YOU Are Now)

one week marketing.pngIf you’ve been reading my blog for any length of time, you’ve probably already noticed that I very RARELY encourage my readers to buy “how to make money online” sorts of courses. Why is this you ask?

Well – for one, I’m pretty lazy. It always feels like heavy lifting having to say bright and glowing things about products that are only so so. ( which at best….most of them are)

And 2 – I don’t think they are neccessary.

I’m a big believer in process learning (i.e. – getting your face muddy, making mistakes and simply diving into the water yourself) and as we all instinctively know, the only people who REALLY get rich from most of the informational products out there are the people selling them.

I’m going to make an exception here, and recommend if you are just getting started online….and NEED to find a couse that is going to take you by the hand and SHOW you the exact steps you need to follow to get there, I advise you to take a good, long look at One Week Marketing.

Why I Know One Week Marketing Works

It’s actually quite simple. Jennifer, the author of the popular online blog potpiegirl, and the creator of the course, was nice enough to send me a copy of the entire course earlier this week.

And there is A LOT in there, all very instructive, and written in the same typical down home, friendly and helpful manner that has made Potpiegirl such a popular blog.

The simple truth is that there are LOTS of online marketing “guides” that you can choose from.

There aren’t, however, many people who are as genuinely helpful, warm and likable as Jennifer is, and this shines through in bright colors when read each page of One Week marketing.

A Real Blueprint for Building an Online Business

Where One Week Marketing shines is in it’s format.

One whole section of the guide is a “conversation” she has with Nick, a complete and utter newbie who Jennifer met on a popular online affiliate marketing forum.

The conversation is “caught” as an exhange of emails, Instant Messages and the like, as she gives Nick the exact steps he needs to follow, in excruciatingly detailed steps, to literally go from zero…...to making REAL sales in rapid fire turn around time. ( all of Nick’s progress, and sales are meticulously documented as he follows her blueprint)

This is as easy as it gets, and I truly believe that you will get the exact same results if you follow the same process that is laid out for you in clear, simple steps.

Another Reason Why I Know One Week Marketing Works?

How about 2?

One – these are the same steps that I use in my own business, and many of the approaches that Jennifer is teaching are in areas that I have not really made much effort….and simply reading through them reinforced many of the areas that I need to improve my own efforts.

And 2 – I gave the blueprints to an assistant last night (sorry Jennifer, I couln’t help myself!)- and told her I wanted her to follow the process exactly as written to do exactly that in MY niches…and this is someone with very little online marketing experience or knowlege.

One short day later ( today is Sunday) she is already building Squidoo lenses for MY main sites, in the exact format recommended, promoting them, and I’m seeing traffic to my primary sites in less than 24 hours!

Go Take a Look at One Week Marketing

This is NOT an affiliate link, (i.e. – I’m getting no financial benefit here) just a recommendation that I’m sure YOU will benefit from.

Enjoy!


An Open Letter To Plump and Busty: The Official End of the Felonious Flagging Philosophy

KARMA DOLL.jpgDear Plump & Busty,

I would like to thank you for stopping by and reading my thoughts on Craigslist posting protocols and how to avoid getting flagged and all of that fun stuff.

I decided, this morning, however to NOT post your very good ideas as to how to circmumvent Craiglist ghosting, and to get around flagging issues as well.

(even though I REALLY liked one of your ideas….very creative and well done!)

It’s just that – well, I decided that there is only so much room on this blog for plump and busty comments, and considering that particular post has become a haven for ideas as to how to succeed in the erotic services category of CL, I just decided it was time to reclaim my reputation and put an end to encouraging  men and women unite at the Kansas City Super 8 for an hour of fun, frolick and fornication.


The Loony Landing Page: One Blog Monetization Strategy That Will Never Work

landing page.pngI never understand why people do this.  Really.  Genuinely and honestly….what is the thought process that immediately preceedes slapping your landing page which 16 different ads ( some of which have nothing to do with the topic of the site) all butting up against each other in a collage like car wreck of creative crisis?

Affiliate Marketing Mistakes:  Confuse & Conquer Will NEVER Work

I don’t get it…and it will NEVER work – you will NEVER make money with this sort of monetization strategy and it amazes me how prevelant this sort of shallow thinking really is. It honestly makes me angry.  If I wasn’t taking my medication everyday, i’d probaby head butt the wall out a sense of futile frustration.   Fill up every available pixel with something shiny and people break out their wallets and high tail it to the affiliate offer?


Brief Interviews With Hideous Men: Serendipity and SEO

As a bit of a wayward and tortured soul myself, I’ve always had a great love and admiration for the writing of David Foster Wallace – a sort of bohemian rebel without a pause, true literary giant and genius of infinite imagination and iconic stature. 

Sadly – he apparenly  took his own life on Sunday – which is shocking – and saddening – and surprising and all of that stuff…..even though his work was dark, you sort of imagine that at the top of the totem pole, everything’s got to look like peaches down below.


1 Free Traffic Technique That Works Like Magic

magic_1.jpgIn my last post a few days ago we talked about how to separate the fact, from fiction when doing your keyword research – and why MUCH of the intelligence you get from paid tools is arguably entirely misleading, and borderline worthless altogether.  Now, that may seem a bit foolish for someone who recommends a few keyword tool affiliate programs on this blog, and ironically these are in fact, the most popular outgoing links on this site. 

Oh well.  Won’t be the first time I’ve cut off my nose to spite my face, right?

I’ve also talked about a tool that I’ve been using for PPC research that blows EVERYTHING else I’ve used off the table (ispionage) as it provides ALMOST real time results (24 hours out) on ads being run on ANY of your keywords of choice ( plus does a whole host of other very powerful functions that are novel, and almost unfair to your competition whose information is being lifted) and I’m also STILL a member and fan of Spyfu as well – as while the data sets are often old ( 60 days) many of the organic results, and directory style results they’ll give you QUICKLY are so valuable if you are doing hardcore online marketing work – that for the price I’m paying for the service ( I’m still paying the beta prices) it’s almost silly to sacrafice the intelligence to protest the problems with fresher data sets.


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