Special Announcement: An Open Letter to My Republican Readers

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This blog will temporarily NOT be accepting Republican page views for a period of one week ( Friday Sept 5th – 12 am Eastern Time Sept 12th).  It’s a punishment for having to look at Mitt Romney’s fancy face one day to many this week, and like all grevious sins in life, someone does have to pay.

I’m sorry that it has to be you. 

Don’t worry – there are only like 8 people reading this blog anyway – so you won’t be missing much.  If you are a Republican though, I would appreciate if you would look away, starting right now.

Thank you, and I look forward to having both of you back next week!

 


My Favorite Weight Loss Ad Ever (or said differently – Why God Hates Internet Marketers)

This has to be the greatest weight loss ad ever – I would definetly sign up for the affiliate program as I’m sure it’s easy money – but I decided on the off chance there is a god, I would like to go to heaven if at all possible – and I’m pretty sure that everyone promoting this program is eventually going to a very warm place.  ( where getting a pitchfork in the ass is a much bigger worry than your weight)

But, this is still my favorite line of copy I’ve come across this decade.

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Caution:  If you begin to experience weight loss in excess of one pound per 24 hours, please temporarily discontinue.

That’s sort of similar to a get rich from home ad saying:

Warning – if you start to make OVER 46,000 per day, please take a few days off as not to alert the bank, your neighbors or the federal authorities.

Or even better……

Notice: 

If strange women begin to slobber all over you for no good reason in public places, please do cease and desist from wearing your new cologne for 36 hours until the powerful primally activated hormones we just unleashed in your 4th Chakra have an opportunity to return to their normal state.  Thank you.  


A Killer Craigslist Strategy. Really.

killer craigslist.pngAnd you thought the online Swedish Massage market was giving Craigslist dirty fingernails?

This is a sort of taking it to a whole new level, don’t you think? 

These are people who take flagging problems VERY seriously.  ( and why I now prefer Key West over Cancun..:-)

That may be why they are prepared to publically look for work. In the online adverts on one classified site, one advert reads: "Assassin ex-military professional and discreet. Work guaranteed in 10 days or less. Have worked in Spain. $6,000. Serious requests only" and gives a hotmail address as a contact.Another offering "hitman for hire" asks: "Problems with a certain person? Do you want me to solve it? Write to me. 100% professional, we don’t take money in advance."The classified ads site also appears to be a place where those needing the services of a killer might go.

BBC NEWS | World | Americas | Mexico probes online ‘hitmen ads’

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More Article Marketing Boo Boo’s

man-beer.gifI was working with a reader on the phone  this morning on otimizing some of his business’s article marketing campaigns in the fat loss/popular diets niche, and considering this is actually a topic that I’ve created many campaigns around, I have a pretty good grasp of the landscape – ie – both on the landing page, and resource box sides of the respective street.

As any copywriter will tell you – 45% of the battle is the headline – and 45% ( in an article the resource box) is the offer – and the 10% in between are just details.  So as we were sort of scanning for great headlines combined with outstanding offers ( a compelling resource box that commands the click) we came across, at the very same time, an article on the diet directory page whose headline just sang a song of sweet success.  Unique – curious, interesting and compelling, and two complete strangers ( me and he) both noticed it independent of the other.


How To Add Great Graphics, Images and Animations to Your Site for 8 Cents A Day

I QUIT.pngOne of the biggest irritants that you’ll find if you are publishing sites across a bunch of different niches is having to find free ( or low cost) graphics that you can use to spice up your sites.  The simple truth is that visuals DO contribute to the end user experience, site stickiness, and certaintly repeat visitors to boot.

  Some of the very best blogs (especially out of the internet marketing space – which is MOST of them..:-)) are those that have good visual punch and penache, and while ultimately – written content is indeed king – having good site aesthetics and appealing eye candy is in fact important.


How To Write Craigslist Ads That Get The Click Quick: Simple “Secrets” To Amping UP Your Affiliate Sales on CL

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This is actually a fairly common question I get via email – and one that many us struggle with when writing ad copy, especially when you are in a bunch of different affiliate markets simultaneously ( which I kind of believe you should be).  Good affiliates are mercenaries in many respects, and the path to least resistance in monetizing affiliate opportunities that you DON’T want to invest a ton of time in is in fact the mercenary approach.

Here is the problem – as articulated by Rob below:


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