The passing of time.
The things that were too late to do, to try, because….well……Why start now?
It’s been too much time.
I should have done it in college.
Or when i was single.
Or when I was broke.
Or sandwiched somewhere awkwardly in between.
But not now.
It’s too late.
It’s not ready.
Or it’s simply the wrong time.
One of the things you may not know about me is that I’m a mediation junkie.
Sometimes I think that in a perfect world an alternative universe away, I am a complete recluse, shut off from the outside world, eyes closed, lost in an inner universe of beauty and bliss.
Sort of like a younger Howard Hughes with a lot less money and much cleaner fingernails.
One of the reasons I love to meditate is the strange sort of melting of time.
That somewhere between here and there – time just forgets to keep score.
And somewhere in there, if you’re lucky……you get to just be.
And begin. Anew.
I remember once being at a marketing conference and hearing a guy say that he made 500 year personal development plans and goals.
He had plenty of time.
The rest of us were in a rush.
Because, I guess…he planned on outliving us all.
Or maybe his vision of time was different – or he was using a different clock.
I used to shake my head at that stuff and just sort of laugh it off.
Silly wishful thinking.
New age nonsense.
We all get so little time.
What if I made my story longer?
What if I forgot there was a beginning?
Or an end.
What if I gave myself more time?
I’ve been working with a mediation teacher who has been helping me learn this really cool (and somewhat controversial) technique called Big Mind – basically, it’s a fusion of traditional insight mediation and voice dialog – the specifics are a bit beyond this blog post – but……I’ve had some really profound moments both during…and after these sessions together.
Essentially, the underlying idea is – you give voice to that which is silent, but yet still speaks.
Owning the disowned.
Facing your faceless.
And understanding that what we all tell ourselves – even collectively – are simple stories.
We use those stories to box ourselves in.
Throw in the towel. Give up early.
Because the box is bulging with believers.
But…..they are no more true or less true, based on the bigness of that box.
I have learned how to speak to the voice of time. (and many other voices, too..:-)
It can be quite freeing. And fun.
And so too can you.
Q: Who are you?
A: The voice of time.
A: What is your job?
I measure. I manage. I count the clock and prioritize what and where and when is enough.
I keep score.
I am not the loudest voice….but for you – I am the most important.
Q: What if you are an illusion? What would I do if you didn’t exist?
I guess you’d be evolving but not ending.
Growing but not slowing.
You’d be timeless.
Of course it’s a lot more detailed of a process than that…..but you don’t want to be stuck in my head for any longer than 3 or 4 sentences.
My point is –
Pick a path…and stick with it.
If it moves you, inspires you and makes you feel alive……
It won’t be a waste of time.
Of course your voices may be different than mine.
And we all believe what we want to believe.
At the end of the day – they’re all stories, and it’s all just a guess.
Maybe that thing you do when you’re 84 that feels like the cherry on top of a life most excellently lived is actually just the first baby step in a journey of 1000 metaphorical miles.
I hope that’s true.
But maybe it really is the cherry on top.
What I do know is THIS:
Ask yourself empowering questions.
Thinking bigger, and bolder and beyond the box a bit ain’t going to hold you back.
When you think of your 200, or 500 or 1000 year plan and purpose – there is a shift.
You move from the small into the big.
You can slow down a bit.
Embrace the adventure. Stop panicking. You know your on the right path.
Excuses are unimportant.
You’ve got plenty of time.
Anyway, I’ve been thinking about writing this for a while, and a conversation with an old friend who told me “the best is behind us” made me think of it again.
So here I am.
I decided it was about time 🙂
Aerials in the sky When you lose small mind You free your life
– System of a Down