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I think I decided I’ve given up on Drift, the super cool messaging app that has tons of promise – and works beautifully well, but for me…..I think it is time to say goodbye.

Here are 3 reasons why Drift is making my life more challenging than it ought to be.

  1.  If you’ve ever heard Keifer Sutherland talk about his movies, you’ll know that, like me, he hates to see himself on screen.  He actually missed all of the first 5 seasons of 24 as a result, which is a shame, considering he was awesome in all of them.  How many people could have survived that Chinese prison at the end of Season 4?  Other than Kiefer and me, not many is right.  I sort of feel the same way about my blog.  Whenever I see myself pop up on the screen, I want to scream,   “What do you know you big dummy!”  Shut your pie hole and minimize yourself before I slap that silly no nothing grin off your face” .  And after 3 months of having drift installed on my blog – I still don’t think I ever figured out if you can only have it pop up like – every once in a while, rather than every fucking time.  It’s no surprise, that much of my fan mail, ain’t all that friendly.
  2. Drift is changing the way that I look at homo sapiens as a species.  One of the unadvertised side effects of having a live chat thingy on your site, is your realize that people in general, need a spanking.  And no, I’m not talking about the sort of metaphorical spanking you get when you call one of those adult chat lines at 3am when you can’t sleep and you’ve already spent too much on QVC.  (more gold embossed baseball cards for me, baby!  this Ty Cobb is going to be worth a fortune in 20 years!)  
  3. I’m talking about people who just leave you these mystifying messages that are sort of demanding, demeaning and a bit sort of odd.  (this woman was very nice by the way when I inquired about what “no soliciting!” meant after she left me her email address last night – an email address I didn’t ask for – and a conversation I wasn’t around for as well 🙂
  4. Lastly, I can’t figure out how to actually CHANGE THE FRIGGING message in Drift – so it says something like, “hey, it appears like I’m online right now, but if you read my blog, it also appears like I’m sane.  Neither of these 2 things are true, so please leave me an email address, and I’ll get back to you as soon as I am“.  (online that is, the sanity wait is going to take a while)  And yes, I’ve changed the text in my admin area like 3 zillion times  – and YES, I’m sure in some alternate universe it says what I want – but in this one, a universe stranger in 2017 than any Philip Dick novel could ever predict – it’s simply not working as it should.

So for the time being, if you want to get in touch with me, we’re going to have to go back to the old – “hey ian, my name is bob, and i have a question” strategy.  ianrhollander AT gmail.com works – and i’ll have the contact form back up by tonight, too.

So long drift.  You are a very cool tool – and i’m sure i’ll see you again.

 

 

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I am an author, artist and entrepreneur. My 2 passions are writing about, and teaching Marketing and Meditation. I like to think I'm a lot like Eckhart Tolle, if only he was taller, and a much better tennis player. (it turns out in person, he's super short, has a terrible backhand and wears this weird scottish hat thingy that makes it really difficult to concentrate while serving) Plus he refuses to keep score and says " it's always NOW" when you ask who is up. Enough about me. We barely know each other. Stop staring. You're making me nervous.