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copywriting

My Favorite Weight Loss Ad Ever (or said differently – Why God Hates Internet Marketers)

by ian

This has to be the greatest weight loss ad ever - I would definetly sign up for the affiliate program as I’m sure it’s easy money - but I decided on the off chance there is a god, I would like to go to heaven if at all possible – and I’m pretty sure that everyone promoting this program is eventually going to a very warm place.  ( where getting a pitchfork in the ass is a much bigger worry than your weight)

But, this is still my favorite line of copy I’ve come across this decade.

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Caution:  If you begin to experience weight loss in excess of one pound per 24 hours, please temporarily discontinue.

That’s sort of similar to a get rich from home ad saying:

Warning – if you start to make OVER 46,000 per day, please take a few days off as not to alert the bank, your neighbors or the federal authorities.

Or even better……

Notice: 

If strange women begin to slobber all over you for no good reason in public places, please do cease and desist from wearing your new cologne for 36 hours until the powerful primally activated hormones we just unleashed in your 4th Chakra have an opportunity to return to their normal state.  Thank you.  

More Article Marketing Boo Boo’s

by ian

man-beer.gifI was working with a reader on the phone  this morning on otimizing some of his business’s article marketing campaigns in the fat loss/popular diets niche, and considering this is actually a topic that I’ve created many campaigns around, I have a pretty good grasp of the landscape – ie – both on the landing page, and resource box sides of the respective street.

As any copywriter will tell you - 45% of the battle is the headline - and 45% ( in an article the resource box) is the offer - and the 10% in between are just details.  So as we were sort of scanning for great headlines combined with outstanding offers ( a compelling resource box that commands the click) we came across, at the very same time, an article on the diet directory page whose headline just sang a song of sweet success.  Unique – curious, interesting and compelling, and two complete strangers ( me and he) both noticed it independent of the other. [click to continue…]

How To Add Great Graphics, Images and Animations to Your Site for 8 Cents A Day

by ian

I QUIT.pngOne of the biggest irritants that you’ll find if you are publishing sites across a bunch of different niches is having to find free ( or low cost) graphics that you can use to spice up your sites.  The simple truth is that visuals DO contribute to the end user experience, site stickiness, and certaintly repeat visitors to boot.

  Some of the very best blogs (especially out of the internet marketing space – which is MOST of them..:-)) are those that have good visual punch and penache, and while ultimately – written content is indeed king – having good site aesthetics and appealing eye candy is in fact important. [click to continue…]

How To Write Craigslist Ads That Get The Click Quick: Simple “Secrets” To Amping UP Your Affiliate Sales on CL

by ian

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This is actually a fairly common question I get via email – and one that many us struggle with when writing ad copy, especially when you are in a bunch of different affiliate markets simultaneously ( which I kind of believe you should be).  Good affiliates are mercenaries in many respects, and the path to least resistance in monetizing affiliate opportunities that you DON’T want to invest a ton of time in is in fact the mercenary approach.

Here is the problem – as articulated by Rob below: [click to continue…]

How To Get Millions Of Dollars of Killer Copy for Free ( or – how to ethically steal stuff from dead people)

by ian

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A couple days ago I started playing around with some old "classic" copywriting ads, inserts, letters, etc – not stuff that is mine, rather, just really masterful pieces I have collected over the years to study, survey and emulate. 

I used to – years ago, when I first started doing offline direct response stuff, read all of the great ads in the supermarket shelves religiously, regularly coming home with piles of National Enquirers, income opp magazines, etc - ( which of course always led to some woman in line starting a conversation about the celeb gossip of the day – I realized early on that trying to explain you read these things for the ads is not so different than telling your girlfriend you’re reading penthouse for the social commentary) [click to continue…]

A Gold Mine of Direct Response Marketing Magic One Simple Mouse Click Away

by ian

I accidentally came across this site earlier today ( or maybe it was last night) and it is literally a treasure trove of timeless marketing magic you’d be hard pressed to find readily available if you bought the next 500 E books, DVD sets, seminars and other nefarious nonsense that we all are inundated with daily. 

Some of the ads that are laid out here in all of their elegant beauty are TRULY classic pieces worthy of close inspection, studious study and creative emulation.  (read: knock them off for your OWN campaigns!) [click to continue…]

How To Sell SEO Services to Jewish Singles.

by ian

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clipped from ezinearticles.com

Even if you are a Jewish single, the online dating sites are there to provide you with the special requirement that you like especially if you are specifically looking for Jewish singles to find and consider as your partner. Many choices for you could cater to the need for a Jewish matchmaker on the Internet.
 

Not just because you are not in your own country or with your own Jewish people will you be denied of finding the right Jewish single to be your prospective life partner. There are many ways and the first step you have to do is sign up now to try your luck in love again.

Ok – the title of this article is -  "Jewish Dating Site will Make any Jewish Single Happy"

I’m with you so far.

The article is about Jewish Singles as you could probably have guessed.  ( of which I am one..:-)

Now – i’m goign to be honest with you.  I was reading this ONLY as a little market research on a Jewish Dating Site affiliate site we’re throwing up and have been goofing off with for a few years and have FINALLY put up a few meager pages here.  

And the first paragraph sort of threw me for a little bit of a loop, only because it makes no goddamn sense.  But as a Jewish single, I happen to be very forgiving so I continued on.  [click to continue…]

How to Write an Ebook Really (really!) Fast

by ian

This is a great short little video on how to write an ebook REALLY, really quickly and as simple as it sounds……it truly is that easy.  I found the video on the Ezinearticles.com blog -  and thought is was worthwhile to re-post here as you can certainly repurpose this idea across just about ANY content creation channel. 

Tons of people simply hate to write – and using audio, in combination with a transcription service, is a dead simple way to taking YOUR ideas out of the dimly lit spaces between your ears….and bringing them out to the bright and shiny light of the masses.  If you don’t think you’ve got an ebook waiting to be written somewhere within you, think again. [click to continue…]