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Rejection Therapy

I love this idea. Purposely and passionately seeking out someone to metaphorically (or literally) slam the proverbial door, in your face…..at least once per day.

The fear of rejection, or it’s close kissing cousins are without a doubt, the primary thing that holds most of us back from dancing in the direction of our dreams, and destiny.

After all……

Who wants to hear NO?

If you play the rejection therapy game, YOU do. (you can’t win without it 🙂

I can still remember the girl who wouldn’t do the couples skate with me in 4th grade after I traded 4 canteen tickets for the fancy black skates in anticipation.

As evidenced by her Facebook page, she has gone on to be an epic failure as a human being, which serves her right for doing me wrong.

But the truth is, rejection is a fact of life.

We all face it.

Those who embrace it are braver than I.

This is definitely worth checking out, even if only as a small reminder that you always get to choose.

What some avoid, others embrace.

And that, much like other roads less traveled, does make all the difference in the world 🙂

REJECTION THERAPY – THE GAME

consists of only one main rule…
YOU MUST BE REJECTED BY ANOTHER PERSON AT LEAST ONCE, EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Please notice the wording of the rule. It doesn’t say you must attempt or try to be rejected. The rule is you MUST be rejected by another human being. In this game, rejection is success.

No other outcome will meet the requirement of Rejection Therapy.

To put yourself in a situation where rejection is likely, but to your surprise your request is granted, is not a successful outcome. Why? Because you weren’t rejected. You didn’t ask for enough.

There are a few stipulations as to what counts as a rejection, but the above rule is all you need to benefit from Rejection Therapy.


http://rejectiontherapy.com/rules/

In My Experience: 10 Things Worth Knowing About Authority Sites and Online Agency Style Offers (AUDIO)

Better late, than never! (I hope, anyway 🙂

Here is a 50 minute audio I recorded earlier today on some of what I’ve learned about using the authority site model, in combination with growing an online agency style service, that works wonderfully well.

10 things worth knowing about building an online community, niche authority site or passion portal

Any questions? Feel free to email me at ianrhollander@gmail.com or connect with me on Facebook, and I’ll do my best to answer ASAP.

10 EASY Ways to Build An Online Agency Using the Authority Site Model

Here is a quick article I wrote earlier today for EZA to promote a new coaching program (and community site) I’m just about ready to launch in the “Mindfulness Market” early next month.  (Feb)

Many of you who are on my list will get an invitation to participate in this project for free…… as promised in the fall of 2014.  If you are a coach, consultant, teacher, trainer, author, artist, mindful mentor or marketer, enlightened entrepreneur, wellness worker, passion professional or enlightened entrepreneur of any kind, this community will offer you a great way to advertise your offers, connect with our community and build BUZZ for your brand, blog and business to boot.

Believe it or not, I am now able to actually say that entire run on sentence out loud, without gasping for breath or bungling any words, simply do to tons of free time and very few social engagements.

The article below, submitted to EZA,  is an abbreviated version of the recording I’ll be adding to this post in about a day, once I listen to it and make sure I deliver on the promise above.  (the no gasping or bungling part)

i’ll be sharing some of the very simple things I’ve been learning playing with some new marketing models, and some of the things I’ve discovered through tweaking, critiquing, optimizing and improving some of the same ones I developed years ago….that are still working wonderfully well today.

So….read the quick overview below, and then come back as I’ll add an audio to this over the next 24 hours, and then, if all goes as planned and the world doesn’t come to an end (which Fox news IS predicting sometime in February) I’ll try to add 2 or 3 audios per week for those of you who have asked, and prefer that sort of format.

(and…..if you have any questions about ANY of this stuff, feel free to send me an email and I’ll record some answers to the stuff that comes up most often….which if history is our guide, are usually far more illuminating and helpful to all,  than the stuff I come up with on my own)

The EZA article is copied and pasted below, and I’ll have the first audio for 2015 up within a day. (or two:-)

 

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Who else would love to build a hyper profitable authority site out of thin air?  Would you love to take a simple idea, or a simple passion, and parlay that into a fun and flourishing blog, brand or business you could love, grow and nurture for years to come?  If you are anything like most people who try to start a business online, you are probably wasting tons of valuable time, effort, energy and INCOME on BAD ideas, from online “guru’s” who simply don’t have the real world experience to deliver what they promise.

I want to share with you some things I’ve learned about launching profitable authority sites in niches, markets and verticals I have lots of passion for, while simultaneously building a growing online agency that I love.

Curious to know more?  Continue reading as we take a closer look below:

1 – Pick Your Passion:  If you are going to build an authority site, do it in a niche or market that you truly love, or in a market that you have a natural connection to the community that you will target.  (for example, if you are a real estate agent, and your passion is real estate, it makes sense for you to build your first authority site in THAT niche, rather than a most esoteric idea that you don’t know quite as well)

2 – Leverage Tools and Templates to Simplify the Strategy:  For example, rather than worrying about how you are going to step up and stand out in a hyper saturated niche using a conventional blog, use tools and templates like specialty plugins and themes to create communities instead.  There are marketplace themes, social networking themes, job and classified boards and plugins, crowd funding tools and templates, directory site themes and so much more that will allow you to create communities that are USER oriented, and that leverage community content to quickly, easily and ethically build BIG sites with minimal effort.

3 – Always begin with the End in Mind.  In other words, have your big picture goal at hand as you launch your site, service or strategy.  Know who your ideal audience is, and how you are going to monetize it before you begin the process of placing the first pixel on the page.  I’ve seen far too many people LAUNCH something new with enthusiasm and excitement…..only to find themselves totally clueless on how they are going to monetize their marketplace once the idea catches on.

Here is a quick example from my own recent experience:  I have a lot of personal passion for the spiritual/mindful and personal development niche, and decided I wanted to build an online agency that focused on “enlightened entrepreneurs” and wellness workers.  With that in mind, I build a directory of spiritual professionals using an inexpensive premium template that looked great and added a lot of value to folks who wanted to get “discovered” in their local community.  I then paid someone an hourly rate to email professionals who were in my ideal audience, throughout 5 or 6 major cities, and invitation to be listed for free in our directory.

About 20% of those who got the email submitted a listing, and about 25% of those people actually paid for a PREMIUM listing, making the site profitable pretty quickly.  But more importantly, I’ve also been inundated with requests to help these folks improve their marketing, their blog building, their book writing and 4 or 5 other offers I identified from jump that I wanted to offer as new online agency
serving in the spiritual services market.

Not only did the authority site model help me quickly and easily grow a large site (over 300 members) in under 5 months, we have a community curated BOOK being published this month on Amazon.  (and I didn’t have to do anything other than accept submissions) and I’ve managed to build relationships with thought leaders in this field far more quickly than I could have, or would have on my own.

In My Experience

I love this quote below from Tami Simon – founder of “Sounds True” publishing, amongst other endeavors.

It’s amazing how much intersection there is in the world of “Gurus” – be they gurus of the internet marketing kind, or gurus of the type who want to tell us the rules of the cosmos or other certainties that are only a whispered word away.

The more you bump up against the folks who have all the answers, the more you realize you’ve been asking the wrong questions. (and of the wrong people)

The only thing I really have to offer anyone reading my words is my experience.

What I’ve learned along the way.

Packaged properly and articulated with honestly, I think that experience is worth quite a lot, because I’ve done a lot, and tried a lot, and learned a lot worth knowing along the way.

But, it’s only my experience.

And yours may vary.

There is a freedom and a freshness and an honest humility that emanates from just saying what you’ve seen and felt and touched and tasted along the way.

The map is rarely the territory, and for me at least, there is nothing more grating than those who want you to believe they’ve got both figured out, simply because they have a philosophy that sounds good, looks smart and butters the right buttons on the pixel, or page.

So when I heard these words, Tami Simon’s quote below – in the midst of a long midnight run…..in another Podcast where she was being interviewed……the host made reference to having read this post on the show, I made a note to look it up when I got home.

This idea resonates with me so deeply now, both as a reminder to my own bloviating and self important self – to stick to my EXPERIENCE, and not the way I think things should be……but, more importantly, to the cacaphony of voices and ideas and opinions I’m inundated with on a daily basis by folks who have it all figured out…even though they almost always contradict each other, and quite often, themselves as well.

As a long time meditation practitioner, I have had all sorts of kalaideiscopic, crazy, cool, amazing insights and epiphanies about myself,  & the wild, weird, wacky and wonderful world around us all.

And yet, I know, that there is nothing one can truly know about the cosmos, or the nature of life, or death – or any of the burning big questions that are answered while I surf the insides of my own awareness.

It’s tempting to consider.

But it’s only my experience.

Well worth considering if you’re seeking – or offering – advice – on the way things really are, because they rarely are as simple or straightforward as they seem.

Check out the full post at the link below – and some of Sounds True’s great collection of inspiring interviews as well.

I have now hosted over 100 episodes of Insights at the Edge, a free podcast series in which I interview Sounds True authors about their life and work. What I have found is that the part of the conversation that always interests me the most is when people talk about their own direct experience–their experience with difficult times, their “illumination” experience, their experience with intimate relationships (the good, the bad, the ugly). These are the moments when the conversation becomes the most real for me. I feel like saying to my guests, “Please don’t tell me what you think sounds like wonderful philosophy, tell me what you have seen with your own eyes, tell me what has surprised you, tell me what has disappointed you, tell me what has helped you feel most alive and free.”

 

http://www.soundstrue.com/tami-simon/?selection=Publishers%20Blog

How Good Writers Write

The writing rituals of the rich, famous and ferociously focused.

Well worth checking out for inspiration if you find yourself staring at a blank screen with one perpetually pulsating pixel like me.

Haruki Murakami: “The repetition itself becomes the important thing.”

In a 2004 interview, Murakami discussed his physical and mental habits…

When I’m in writing mode for a novel, I get up at four a.m. and work for five to six hours. In the afternoon, I run for ten kilometers or swim for fifteen hundred meters (or do both), then I read a bit and listen to some music. I go to bed at nine p.m.

I keep to this routine every day without variation. The repetition itself becomes the important thing; it’s a form of mesmerism. I mesmerize myself to reach a deeper state of mind.

But to hold to such repetition for so long — six months to a year — requires a good amount of mental and physical strength. In that sense, writing a long novel is like survival training. Physical strength is as necessary as artistic sensitivity.

Ernest Hemingway: “I write every morning.”

In an interview with George Plimpton, Hemingway revealed his daily routine…

When I am working on a book or a story I write every morning as soon after first light as possible. There is no one to disturb you and it is cool or cold and you come to your work and warm as you write. You read what you have written and, as you always stop when you know what is going to happen next, you go on from there.

Why Starting a Business Will Make You Happy

Want the real secret to happiness?  Start a business.  (especially if you are a woman 🙂 

Interesting research on some of what makes us truly happy, healthy and fulfilled continuously shows that having a sense of passion and purpose in our work…especially if we work for ourselves, is the key to life satisfaction.

Here is a cool study on the the corelation between being an entrepreneur and happiness that happens to also reveal that while all of us get a lot more life satisfaction out of having our own businesses……women often report far higher happiness quotients than men when it comes to being self employed.

My own experience is that having a really compelling story – a reason why – a sense of passion and purpose and personal power that is wrapped up in story of what compels us to create or contribute or connect with our communities is the best driver for feeling fulfilled through our work.

(It can also be really effective to have a really compelling story about what life looks like when you DON’T do what you are truly called to do – how much smaller is your own canvass of contribution – of connection and who else suffers when you choose a smaller story than the one you know burns inside of you.  For me – in some sense, this is a much more compelling reason to do what I love…and a much better motivator when I feel like doing nothing as well – allowing myself to imagine I’m being used in the service of others, and that quitting early is not an option that affects only me)

There is truly nothing more rewarding than doing work that you love and using the canvas of your own concsiousness, and creativity, to help others do what they love in a much higher way as well.

Check out the full article following the short exceprt below.  And I’m planning on doing a whole bunch of audio recordings this month on the authority site and online agency style models for service oriented professionals – (some myself – and others with clients) if you’d like to get these sent to you via email (they may or may not be posted here on this blog) drop me a note ianrhollander@gmail.com and I’ll forward the download links to you as they go live.

 

What does a woman really want? That question has supposedly bedeviled men throughout the ages. A new study provides the answer: Her own business.

That’s one conclusion that could be drawn from the 2013 Global Entrepreneurship Monitor U.S. Report, issued today by Babson College and Baruch College. The report contained a number of insights about women business owners.

Most striking: Established women business owners ranked their happiness more than twice as high as non-entrepreneurs and non-business owners. In the chart below, which is taken from the report, TEA stands for total entrepreneurship activity.

http://www.inc.com/kimberly-weisul/women-entrepreneurship-road-to-happiness-eventually.html?utm_content=buffer46d1c

 

 

 

 

I’m not a big fan of new year’s resolutions.

But, I am a big fan of convincing myself I’m going to do things differently in the future, than I have in the past.

Which, I guess, you could argue are new year’s resolutions.

And one of the big reason’s I love Mondays, too.

I want to do more work that I love….with people I like, and less that I don’t with both.

(because everyone knows the best time to change your life for the better are Monday’s.  Any other day is like swimming upstream on the transformational totem pole of doomed to disappoint)

Here are a few of the things I want to do more of in 2015.

Read More »

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