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Pay Per Click Marketing Mistakes: Their Signs Are Good and Their Beds are Soft……..

October 15, 2008 By

ppc3.pngBut their pay per click strategy sucks.

Now, first of all, lest anyone think I’m searching for "signs she’s good in bed" because I can’t figure it out myself….shame on you. 

I was brought up to believe a woman who cooks well, and cheers for the Phillies is just about all any man can hope for in this life, and any acrobatic skills she may ( or may not) have in other areas are irrelevant.  

Plus I’m a heavy drinker, so I can never really remember what happened anyway, so it’s sort of 6 in one hand, half a dozen in the other regardless. [Read more...]

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How To Make More Money With Your Pay Per Click Ads (Without Your Wasting Time, Energy or Income)

September 6, 2008 By

isponage.pngI’m not a big PPC advertiser – ( I actually do very little anymore as I prefer FREE traffic whenever possible..:-) but have experimented over the years with a bunch of the keyword spying tools that are on the market, mostly without a ton of success.

I started using Spyfu WAY back before it became popular – and when it was in it’s beta, sort of underground phase I thought it would turn out to be a revolutionary tool for stealing PPC intelligence, and push button, elegant and effortless PPC optimization. ( along being a boon for organic competitive intelligence to boot)

I remember doing client work a year plus ago - where having this data was like being a kid in a candy store - you literally felt like having a push button, birds eye view of the competitive landscape was a little bit like playing god – as you could quickly, easily and effortlessly glean buckets of info about ANY of your clients comptitiors campaigns in an afternoon – and modify/optimize and philosophize that info into a real advantage. [Read more...]

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My Favorite Weight Loss Ad Ever (or said differently – Why God Hates Internet Marketers)

September 4, 2008 By

This has to be the greatest weight loss ad ever - I would definetly sign up for the affiliate program as I’m sure it’s easy money - but I decided on the off chance there is a god, I would like to go to heaven if at all possible – and I’m pretty sure that everyone promoting this program is eventually going to a very warm place.  ( where getting a pitchfork in the ass is a much bigger worry than your weight)

But, this is still my favorite line of copy I’ve come across this decade.

caution.png

Caution:  If you begin to experience weight loss in excess of one pound per 24 hours, please temporarily discontinue.

That’s sort of similar to a get rich from home ad saying:

Warning – if you start to make OVER 46,000 per day, please take a few days off as not to alert the bank, your neighbors or the federal authorities.

Or even better……

Notice: 

If strange women begin to slobber all over you for no good reason in public places, please do cease and desist from wearing your new cologne for 36 hours until the powerful primally activated hormones we just unleashed in your 4th Chakra have an opportunity to return to their normal state.  Thank you.  

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