I have completed a software program that calculates the perfect quantity of Facebook updates per day – it includes some proprietary algorithms that can’t be shared here  – but at the core – it divides  your default feeling of “I have a lot to say” , with your strong sense that “this is really interesting/inspiring or important” with the reality of “no one really cares” and then quickly scans and rates your friend’s unique Facebook  activity and gives you a good number exclusively for you.   

It will also give you most likely outcomes – like “lots of comments likely” – or “mostly likes with the exception of comments from close friends, family and “always on” Uncle Steve ” or, “slow down genius…..this is going to flop and you’ll be deleting this after 7 ill advised shots and a Xanax at 3 am.  “

(PS – for those of you who got a complimentary anonymous copy this morning – please subtract 4 from your number )