I‘ve been doing some reading recently on the idea of self induced suffering. 

I’m not talking about death or dying or extreme sickness. 

I’m NOT talking about global issues like starvation, genocide or war either.  I’m simply talking about suffering on a personal level. 

Our own melodramatic dance with pomp, circumstance – grace, grit and greed and all of that fun stuff that keeps the infinte wheel of Samsara and Silliness spinning long enough for us each to get old, look back and know better.

- I of course have plenty of my own.  I’m suffering in my own unique and self created ways – spending most of my days glued in front of my screen, always planning for tommorow, rarely truly enjoying the present moment and all of that happy and fun Eckhart Tolle sort of bestselling bullshit.

- But – I think today, I really recognized what suffering is.  How bad it could really get.  And to me, it looks like AJ Hammer.

- After 3 nights of having Showbiz Tonight quietly on in the background while doing work, it occured to me that I truly can’t imagine a worse job in the world than having to talk in hushed and melodramatic tones about the Jonas Brothers latest news, how Heather Locklear is doing after rehab, or what Lindsey Lohan’s new nose ring REALLY signifies about her relationship with Samantha Ronson. 

- In my view, and I’m just not sure how to say this right, but if I could possibly care less I think I’d  be getting somewhere into the comatose or catanonic state, and I’d prefer not to think of myself like that.

-But it didn’t really hit me until a few minutes ago, how much AJ must be suffering.  Only after watching him do a 5 minute expose on Oprah’s apocolyptic admission that she is officially over 200 pounds now, complete with lots of special guest experts, lifestyle coaches for chubby people, and other peanut gallery conversation, did it occur to me how bad life must really be for AJ.

- I mean – he’s a good looking dude, a smart guy, and has to have a fair amount of career options, right?  This one ain’t the right choice, my brother…..Of that I’m certain.

-I’ll also add that I can call AJ my brother with confidence, as his CNN bio reflects we are members and alumni of the same college fraternity, which means my opinion should count for something.  Plus, I’m going to be honest – as a Jewish guy myself – I must say it troubles me to learn that his REAL name is AJ Goldberg, and he changed it for showbiz purposes to HAMMER.  First of all – I’m not a big fan of changing what is obviously a Jewish sounding name for show biz reasons (even though it worked well for Bob Dylan and all) but if you’re GOING to do it, Hammer?

- That’s like me changing my last name to Asskicker or Cyclone or Canofasswhup or something. 

I think AJ Goldberg has a much better ring to it, and doesn’t run the risk of sounding like he’s spent one day too many in a WWF chat forum.

– Anyway AJ – we’re all suffering along with you, so don’t worry too much about it.  I had bigger plans myself years ago, so I DO understand.  Just lighten up a bit on the gravitas and global import of Oprah’s weight issues, would you?  (no pun intended..:-)  I know Oprah’s getting a little meaty for the holidays, but the sun will rise again tommorow, I promise.