I was driving through the city today and came across just a fantastically ornate and decorated service van parked on the side of a city street that read – "The smell good plumber" in various fonts, signs and slogans.

Now on a list of things that I want in a plumber – a quick sniff of something fragrant and strangely appealing isn’t one of them. All go as far as to say – "Chief – if I notice you smell good, we are standing waaayy too close.".;-)

And who do you think (sorry for the inherent chauvinism in this comment folks) ends up doing most of the one on one work with the plumbing professional? Usually a young housewife, the Mom, the person who is holding down the fort at home. I’m going to be honest with you, I’d much prefer my plumber to smell like shit (no pun intended) while he’s in my house working on the john – rather than emitting a strangely pleasing fragrance. I’m not married, but if I was – I don’t think I’d want my wife thinking – I have no idea what this man is doing with our pipes, but DAMN he smells good.

The more I think about it – the more insecure I’m getting. I haven’t worn cologne since I owned a pair of those black roller skates that show you meant business when you went out for free skate back in 1992. The last thing I need is some guy loitering around the house with a big truck, lots of free time and a Ricardo Montalba kind of jin se qua thing happening.

Seriously though – what kind of Unique Sales Proposition is this? Am I crazy or this just so far a field from what people want in a commode crisis that it simply misses the mark completely? Or – no?

Any way, I’m never hiring this guy. I (and my girl) prefer Chubby Hubby Plumbing – and as long as he stays fat and funny, he’s got my business.