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I’m a pretty big believer in the idea of defining moments in a man ( or woman’s) life.
 Those simple yet important ticks of time where something powerful comes in and pushes through that just makes sense and forces you to face the indelible truths that are stamped on your karmic passport through this cosmic crash course we call life on earth.

I’ve been lucky enough to have several moments of incredible clarity in my life – moments where if you pull back and reach out far enough, you can see through the thinly disguised obstacles that hold us hostage to our bigger and better fates (& fortunes). You’ve probably had a few of these in your own life – where that slender shred that seems to separate where you are, from where you should be seems easily navigated or knocked down and over, a mere illusion meant for lesser mortals than you and I.

When I was 16 – I had a conversation with myself – my future self – I was probably somewhere around where I am now (late thirties) and it seemed incredibly real and very powerful. I saw myself clearly, but I couldn’t really understand (or remember) what the message was – I felt a sense of purpose though, a destiny or mission to fulfill that felt both profound and important. It was both very real and yet – somewhat dreamlike in quality, putting both my rational mind, and adventurous sense of sprit at odds for many years to come as to exactly what had transpired in those few frozen moments in time. But it also completely changed the paradigm of what I believed possible – for myself and for everyone else, too – so in many ways, while I never talk about it – it is probably the most important and defining moment in life thus far.

Years later I had a somewhat similar, yet much different experience while having a long and engaging sit down philosophical hug it out session with Count Chocola and Boo Berry of the morning cereal fame – we shared fears, hopes, goals and just general thoughts about the messy malaise the world seemed to be slipping into. They were both excellent cereals and even better conversationalists, and this too was a pretty memorable moment of clarity – although here I had been on a three day bender full of Jack Daniels and Mexican Peyote, so in many ways, I tend to believe it was sort of the whiskey talking more than a real experience. Those guys really knew how to party though and were both surprisingly well read and big Bon Jovi fans, which I always found strange.

Anyway – I had a similar experience just a few minutes ago – right here with keyboard in hand. A friend of mine called to tell me that a third friend of ours from college, one of my fraternity brothers from way back when was just elected Mayor of a pretty big town not too far from me. And I spent a few minutes on the phone, laughing and remembering some of the funny moments you recall about friends from those days – sloppy stories of one kind or another – and you share a sort of funny insider perspective on those memories butted up against the present day power and responsibility that comes with this sort of position.

And I hung up the phone – still kind of giggling at the whole thing – and took a moment, a brief one – to think about my own life, where am I now – where am I going – and what is my purpose? My passion. What is the living legacy that I am creating for myself – right now – in this moment? I’m single, I have no children – my sister is getting married in a few short weeks and while I’m super excited for her is sort of reminds me of my own kind of magnetic pull to spending my days in front of the computer thinking about the next, best and most marketable program to dig my meaty paws into while life outside is slowly passing by - And as I pondered that sort of depressing yet kind of heavy thought I saw something on my screen that begged a closer inspection for the kind of work I do – where I excel – where I make my living…..

And I read the fine print on the click bank marketplace ad – this program is converting at 10-15% in some spots and I started to think about keywords and domain names and articles about saggy tits and the debilitating effect that this has on the male psyche and slowly but surely thoughts about life and meaning and purpose and passion melted away into the realm of a dimly hued sunset of philosophical foolishness. Because there are men out there, right now, at this very moment with man boobs that hang low, that wobble to and fro, and it is my job to fix it. And them.

I am an affiliate marketer. This is what I do. I am not mayoral material. When I saw myself, at 16 - this was the reflection that peered back – that spoke in hushed, hard to hear tones of things that may or may not be. And this is how things are. Oh well – I better get some sleep – I’ll make up for this one another time -  think I’ll switch my soundtrack off of Metallica’s "St. Anger" when I work on tommorow’s post..:-)